Lately I’ve been contemplating the forces that drive people. Society often compels us to idolize those who achieve incredible feats or embody wealth, fame, and physical standards. In considering the mindset of some of these people, there is a common theme among these high achievers to take no prisoners, never rest, and perpetually grind. Outside looking in, these mindsets seem admirable and I found a little sprout of envy take hold.
But evaluation of these approaches to life, the single dogged pursuit of a concentrated outcome,has shown me this is not a natural and balanced lifestyle. These approaches maybe sustainable for these individuals, and it may very well provide a meaningful life for them. But, it is not something I admire any longer. At risk of over simplification, I observe and then ask, is this person trying to escape something or are they chasing a goal/dream.
Most of us are conditioned to resent ourselves, our lives, or our situations. We are constantly exposed to what everyone else has and we view the lives of others through impossibly sterilized lenses. This breeds contempt for the self and instills a need to escape, a flight response from an inferior existence. For those who channel this drive to productive endeavors like exercise, business,or academia, they can seem quite impressive. But I would caution you to consider, is this impressive person the product of an obsessive behavior rooted in self-contempt?
The rarer alternative are those who seem to have achieved greatness without sacrifice to overall social, physical, or mental health. These people may not be at the top of the charts, they may not have flashy lives, but they lead balanced lives which have reasonable cycles between objectives in social, physical, business,and mental outcomes. These are people chasing a well rounded ideal with flexibility in their approach. Instead of trying to escape internal darkness,this approach produces individuals pursuing light by facing fears, expanding capabilities, and breaking down sensitivities.
To relate to a likely overshared cliché, I enjoy this old fable;
To feed the darkness is to shun away from pain, to surrender to fear, to seek mood alteration via external stimulus. It produces people addicted to food, alcohol, exercise,achievement, failure etc. Humans can fixate on anything that distracts the conscious mind from the pain of self awareness. Consider your idols, and yourself; how often do you use mood alteration and what triggers the impulse?Do you have goals that propel you to face uncomfortable situations and grow as an individual or are your “goals” conveniently placed within your comfort zone? Further, do your “goals” revolve around mood alteration such as working out more, eating less, watching less TV? These are telling answers and can help you understand if you are treating symptoms, or actually digging to the root issue.
Go a day without mood modification (whatever pleasure seeking habits you frequent) and see who begins to talk internally. Do you like what that internal voice has to say? You don’t have to offer that voice any authority or power, but you should use it to guide you to where work needs to be done. That is where you set your goals.Find uncharted personal territory to explore and then select specific constructive actions based on these vulnerabilities. Model your behaviors around chasing down your fears and overcoming them.
A great read, well done sir.