The Domestic Jungle

I’m surrounded by myself. In unpacking my  closets, I’ve literally deconstructed my subconscious. I am now engrossed in the possessions I have failed to release, the decisions I could not bring myself to make. My past has resurfaced and it brings emotion with seemingly no justifiable source.

I consider myself a pretty well adjusted and emotionally aware, but I’m sometimes reminded that I’m human, vulnerable. It’s a welcome reminder, a nudge to be more open, to let go of the compartmentalization.

As I’m considering my emotional unavailability, the lack of emotional investment, the world has a different agenda. I’m rather violently pulled out of my head by literally the largest eight legged creature I’ve ever seen in the continental United States. Its black, with spindly legs, darting from between shoe boxes like the koolaid man through a wall, no doubt stirred from my nights efforts.

I lock eyes with the beast, heart beginning to race, thoughts of my mental availability long lost. I know what must be done, I linger scanning for a shoe with my peripheral vision to avoid losing sight of my foe. Handily, all of my shoes are scattered around my living room, a pair of boots close at hand. I seize one, clenching the leather upper in my fist refusing to look away, and tensely leap to action.

I strike clumsily, missing the first shot as the target moves beyond my dulled evening reflexes. Panic sets in as the thought of this roaming prowler grips me. Again I strike, more accurately this time, with the toe of the shoe carful to twist and smear fully aware of the lack of tread on my Original Penguins.

Pulling away the shoe, I prepare to apply more extreme prejudice to the suspect. The remainder still stubbornly resembles a cohesive and functional, I insist on a more finite result. Repeated efforts yield a more satisfying outcome. Comforted by my victory, I slowly retreat to the couch, astonished by the sudden turn in my physical state.

Doubt lingers, I glance at the carcass obsessively. Is it still there? Will its larger southern cousin appear to avenge his kin?!

I contemplate the necessary measures to assure that I can actually sleep. I realize its hopeless.

This is my life lately, no time for fussy consideration, my pursuits compel action. The adrenaline still subtly courses through my veins. I must focus on the task at hand, rely on consistent movement to cross the finish line. My procrastination no doubt tracing to the stress of dealing with my possessions, leaves me no surplus of time. I take some anyway to write this passage, still in disbelieve at the events of the last few minutes.