I recently took a trip, my largest, and my first overseas. I visited London and Edinburgh for a total of about two weeks with the intent to throw myself into new and unexpected situations sparking growth and adaptation to new environments. I sought out social stress and perspective to provide me context for the life I would return to. Here are some points of reference to demonstrate the scale of my adventure.
- 80.1 miles walked
- 507 flights of stairs climbed equivalent (10 feet per flight)
- 8700 miles traveled
- Met people from 5 continents
- Visited a church over 1000 years old
- Ate in pubs older than the United States
- Toured castles and palaces
- Tried over 20 scotches
- Ate haggis, often
- Sampled many flat whites from many cafes
But overwhelmingly more influencing and profound are the experiences I had internally, the things I felt:
Hunger – Walking back to the hostel after a day of walking around 10 miles forced me to confront a long forgotten feeling of actual physical fatigue and the beginnings of actual sincere hunger
Isolated – In streets filled with people living their own lives while I was removed from my own.
Crowded – In trains and buses, in lounges and bedrooms, in cafes and bars
Aimless – Having exhausted the causal tourist activities now having to invent my own context, to manifest the day’s adventure.
Free – Stepping out of the walking traffic, observing on the sidewalks and trains these people off to their jobs, with masters to appease.
Lost – The lack of context dug deeper, the absence of family and friends, the missing solitude of a private space, the distance of anything familiar.
Refreshed – In the crisp morning air stepping into a day of unexplored potential
Pity – Observing the suffering of others, of being reminded of the disparity in life
Sadness – In the struggle for simple needs, the lack of autonomy, bearing witness to the scale of humanity.
Surprise – In kind words or a smile from a stranger, the simple common problems shared with others across the world, at how little is actually required to exist.
Fear – For myself and others as we ascended a treacherous path towards a common summit.
Humbled – By the strength and thoughtfulness of individuals I encountered, by the dedication of soldiers and clergymen, by the history and depth of a place.
Satisfied – In reaching a place which my mind very clearly told me I should have turned back from.
Happy – In manifesting a reality which scarcely seemed possible before, in interacting with interesting people with new perspectives, taking in a scenery which was incredible for its representation of human potential and accomplishment.
Gratitude – For the simplicity and richness of a life I had curated back home, for the comforts of having my own home and transportation, for the relationships and connections I have cultivated, for a community which at once is both well rounded and un-distracting.
I confronted some of my demons; anxiety, insecurity, desire
I did not vanquish these demons, but I pushed my boundaries with them, challenged them. Without the burden of having to remain consistent with a pre-established self-image I was bound only by my self-imposed mental boundaries. Those proved much harder to shake loose than I expected. Still, I was introduced to people who offered new and encouraging perspectives of who they thought I was. These offer an invitation to explore dimensions I wasn’t aware I possessed.
I had to explore myself without a crutch of relying on intelligence and eloquence given that I did not carry a local vocabulary or understanding of more basic local practices and knowledge. I had to lean on humility and more basic communication skills.
I often found my mind working at fevered pace to deduce the most basic information at all times. Situational awareness was critical to understand social expectations, logistical navigation, safety, and planning many steps ahead to know where I would next eat and how I would return to home base.
I wrote 80 pages chronicling my adventure, by hand, in an actual journal which will surely represent a lifelong keepsake for me. I reveled in the potential of a day, in what can be accomplished and how much value a single 24 hours can offer compared against the routine and underwhelming underachievement of most days.
I came to appreciate the time and money I’m afforded to improve myself recognizing that the high cost of living in many places means many people are simply keeping their heads above water. The small cushion of additional resources I’ve accumulated are an exception, but are not overwhelming. It reaffirmed the importance of pursing adventure, novelty, and projects only when they serve to add value and growth or as limited endeavors. As an adaptive animal, the human cannot constantly experience hedonistic elation, we will always adjust to that input. I must curate meaning in between the novelty, find fulfillment from the steady pursuit of well considered objectives.
To live, long term, in a place of novel significance for me seems to be an ill-advised pursuit as these places often form destinations pursued by others and therefore carry a higher cost of living. Further, the novelty experienced by outsiders will eventually lose significance for a long time resident. Sadly, these residents ultimately end up paying the premium without the hedonistic reward.
(Carefully considers confirmation bias)
This seems to encourage the lifestyle I’m currently on which is to plant more stable roots in a place that provides for an excess of time and money. These surplus resources can then be reinvested in the self to cultivate individual capability. A more capable individual is then able to pursue adventure and projects which further provide for growth. Most importantly, that growth can be shared through inclusive habits and pursuits that enrich the lives of all involved. With a surplus of resources, there is also the direct ability to donate through philanthropy or volunteer work.
I’ll have to admit, I didn’t expect to get reaffirmation from my travels but more expected to discover alternative living arrangements which I might incorporate. I’ll concede my sample size to be quite limited and that perhaps I’ll uncover some lifestyle that speaks to my soul in some future travels… but I’ll not defer my life in anticipation.
