What a curious concept, time. A lie really, an illusion. For there is only ever now.
As a result there are only ever two choices; now or not now, to act or not.
We make this choice constantly, a small voice in your mind prattling on about the bills to be paid, the friends to be texted, the work to be done. We either choose what the nagging voice tells us we should do, or we do not. We occupy ourselves with meaningless distraction, or tasks we declare more important.
But the voice does not abide this choice. It persists, whispering in the back of your mind. You continue to choose inaction, not now, minute after minute, day after day. The voice grows louder until at some point you realize it’s a scream and you would give anything to silence it, to distract you from the guilt of its obscenity. Everything, except what it demands.
For now the guilt haunts you, colors your every thought, lurks around every corner. To confront the decision long deferred would present confronting the this guilt, this accumulated pain. And so your now is compromised, your existence poisoned by a choice made by a stranger in a time that no longer exists.
You must release the choice made long ago and acknowledge the choice before you. You must forgive yourself those choices made under the duress of ancient guilt. Allow yourself the freedom to make the choice you have so long demanded, to release the decision or to commit.
The rest of your life lies before you, and in this moment, a new now awaits.
