Its that time of the year, the time for reflection and goal setting.
But a goal never achieved offers no progress and typically only generates guilt.
Why do so many repeat the cycle of setting goals, resolutions, which they fail to meet? Fewer others meet their goals and are greeted with hollow emptiness for their victory.
Because they fail to connect the goals to their true values. New years resolutions are so often a reflection of our insecurities, our ego. But the ego is superficial, and goals which sprout from here will be similarly fickle.
Instead, this should be a time of reflection, not on our inadequacies, but what we value most in the world. What we truly need, not the mindless accumulation of possessions, not trying to fill the voids inside with empty promises to be someone else in the future.
Look inside and see who you are right now. Trace your daily actions to foundational values. Then consider those foundations and if they truly reflect the person you wish to be. Make changes here and the actions will follow. Resolve to be more authentic to yourself, to stop trying to be what the world says you should be.
As you take daily actions, consider that you are watering a plant. Each like on social media, each hour of Netflix, time at work, time with family, time spent writing. Most of us return to the plant of ego, we’ve watered it so consistently and fervently that it casts a dark shadow on the rest of our garden.
The other plants of our spirit languish in neglect. Our mindfulness, our values, our forgiveness for ourselves and others. We must be humble and tend only to the ego in proportion to those other dimensions. A garden dominated by ego produces only flowers that offer no lasting sustenance. A mind and spirit in harmony produces a full garden of fruit to sustain us for a lifetime.
So as you reflect on your year spent, and design your future, look deeper for the roots and wider across the dimensions of yourself. For we are deep, and complex, infinitely so. Do not be fooled into thinking a new pair of shoes, a crash diet, a vacation will offer any lasting change. Respect yourself, listen to yourself, learn about yourself. Time spent at this task will always bear fruit and always be relevant.
