A Well Rounded Being

Are you healthy?

What about happy?

Are these states intrinsically linked?

A well-meaning friend or loved one might ask you these questions to which you may pause momentarily and respond with a comparably superficial response. When was the last time you considered these questions on your own? Further, did doing so provide any meaningful outcome or benefit? Maybe you can conclude a yes or no outcome to either query but the questions, and so the answers, are so shallow that they offer little guidance. I offer a bit more robust framework by considering the term wellness as a more useful measure of your condition.

Well-being is a term that has some potential baggage but I feel it is a very applicable label for considering your overall state. Those who cultivate only one dimension of their overall well-being often make large sacrifices in the others leading to a remarkable lack of fulfillment in spite of their own success. Those who fail to acknowledge a dimension of this framework may struggle for years to appreciate the simple actions that could provide them some clarity and a path towards a more meaningful well rounded existence.

Below I offer a framework of three simple categories that I’ve used to assess my overall well-being. These categories could offer you a way to more strategically pinpoint missing components of your own self-care routines and identify where to best spend your time developing yourself. This certainly is not a rigorous academically developed structure nor is it likely representative of everyone’s individual needs, but it’s helpful for me and I hope it will help others.

Mental health – Evaluation for potential extreme distortions of one’s thought process or self-image compared to wider society or other’s perception of yourself. Detection of sub-conscious thought patterns which are triggering undesirable or harmful behaviors. Consideration of behaviors to understand if they tie to a deeper mental root and may be vulnerable to development of obsessive pattern if not acknowledged and addressed.

• Amount of social interaction – extroversion
• Work can count towards this but it should not be the only source, external social interaction, even with coworkers, is fundamental
• Do I actively pursue social engagements? Am I excited about spending time with others? Do I have social activities that I enjoy?
• Comfort with my own thoughts – introversion/isolation
• Am I ok listening to my mind? Do my thoughts cause disturbance? Do I actively avoid being alone with myself either by seeking out company or distractions like Netflix or games etc.
• Self-Image/confidence – On the scale of narcissism to self-loathing, where am I at? Do I reference my social media too often? Do I obsess over my appearance? Do I let negative assumptions or self-talk prevent me from interacting with people? Am I surprised if people notice me or remember me? Am I seeking validation for my decisions or image?

Physical health – Capable of performing necessary actions in day to day life, able to do less common activities that are more fun or inspired, assessment of self-consciousness regarding physical activity. Reflection on food choices and habits, reflection on the nature of my general physical activity and habits.

• Flow state – Do I participate in physical activities that pull me into the moment, which are slightly challenging but achievable? Ex climbing, yoga, biking, surfing
• Strength – Am I strong enough to perform the functions required of my hobbies, life, and flow state activities? Do I challenge my strength in a safe/controlled manner somewhat often?
• Mobility – Is there range of motion which I have lost or do not practice? Are there hobbies that I can no longer perform due to mobility limits?
• Cardiac capacity – Can I comfortably take the stairs if I choose? Do I park close to the building out of a need to offset the amount of walking I do? Can I enjoy hobbies like climbing or biking without compromise?
• Sleep – Am I getting enough sleep, relying on caffeine, feeling unreasonably tired during the day? When did I last cycle off caffeine?
• Food – Where are a majority of my meals coming from? Do I have biodiversity in my food sources? How much and how often am I consuming alcohol and caffeine? How many of my meal choices fall into an indulgence category?

Spiritual health – Considering what activities inspire me to input additional effort. Determining where values lie and what’s truly important. Identifying disparity between where time is spent and true values.

• Values – Do I have a clear understanding of what is important to me?
• Interests/Curiosity – What inspires passion in me? Do I have activities that offer fulfillment, excitement, and/or meaning to my days?
• Does any major part of my life or time spent fill me with dread, anxiety, or leave me feeling disproportionally exhausted?
• Are there goals or passions that I’ve deferred in favor of something that doesn’t fit within my values?
• Social relationships – Do I have meaningful social interactions? Do I have friends or family that I can rely on when I need to talk? Am I being used by others to air their grievances (taking on their emotional weight)?

Does discussion about any of the above topics make me uncomfortable or nervous? This might be a good cue that there is vulnerability in this dimension and opportunity for further self-evaluation.

Obviously, stagnation can occur in any of the three categories and with that initial stall, the others are likely to follow. A negative self-image can lead to self-destructive behavior, overcompensation, defensiveness, obsession all reinforcing the initial assessment. Perhaps emotional treatment will follow using food or drugs impacting the physical dimension.  Consistently, if the dimensions fall out of harmony, then a person’s overall well-being is at risk.

Overall, I think it is very common to lose the spirit, the internal drive and determination to take care of one’s self that leads to regression in the other dimensions. It’s just so abstract a concept and so controversial because religion has complicated the conversation. People don’t have a solid framework of what it means to be in touch with their values without the structure of a religion and even when they do have that structure, many seem to fail to appreciate that it is an architecture for looking inwards. I might suggest that most people who espouse not caring about the outside world start first, with losing care for themselves.

Due to the abstract nature of mental and spiritual health, its more common that physical health takes front stage when evaluating one’s well-being. This is the objective representation that you can measure and get feedback on. It’s the one society fixates on and idolizes, so this is often where a journey starts. But I would urge caution as there must be careful consideration of the overall well-being dimensions explained above. If the root cause of your concern is not identified and resolved first, then any changes made may ultimately fail.

It is for this reason I think meditation should be a common practice to accompany anyone who seeks out physical health. Journaling can also offer a way to channel one’s inner thoughts and release them from holding your attention. You can then examine them more objectively later to evaluate their relevance and origin. Evaluate your days and your feelings as you go through them. Self-awareness is the root to well-being. Without consideration of the inner architecture driving behavior, making changes on the surface behaviors will be like paddling up stream in a river. You may influence the path momentarily but ultimately, the drive will diminish and the boat will be washed back to its original destination. You must listen for the direction of the river and when you have an honest appraisal of it, you must carefully re-route it to influence your behaviors as a result.

Next time someone asks if you’re happy or healthy, I hope you can take comfort in having considered the concepts above. I hope they have inspired action to make meaningful improvements in your well-being. Your best chance of experiencing a meaningful life relies on your ability to listen to your needs and care for yourself. This doesn’t mean relying only on yourself, it means knowing when to reach out to others, how to manage your physical needs, how to recognize a relationship or job is poisoning your mental health. This knowledge is necessary so that you can seek out the ingredients for a prosperous existence and ensure that you’re a reliable source of support for others.